When Your Girl Kisses Another Guy (and Other Messy Situations)

What do you do when your girl makes out with another man? You could challenge him, pull her away, jet yourself… but what’s best?

It is an unfortunate scenario when your girl flirts with another guy in front of you. This post will have a very report-like tone, as I will use a case study to discuss this issue and present solutions. I will also discuss the implications of the choices I make in the narrative so you’ll get to see how the concepts are applied in real life.

No matter how experienced you are, you will face situations like these, and knowing how to deal with them is key. Therefore, I hope this post will be useful to any of you who have had, or may experience, times when your date, girlfriend, or booty call ends up flirting explicitly with a guy right in front of you.

Note that in this article, I am not talking about random girls you just met in a club. These require different strategies, although some of the concepts here may apply.

Background

One fine weekend, I met this rather tall, tight-assed brunette with foxy eyes – let us call her Linda. The seduction was textbook: some good sexual rapport followed by some intense sex talk. We talked about dominant sex, sharing in great detail what I think is hot (which implies what I do to girls). The effect of sexual prizing was serious; she admitted to getting horny. The sex talk took place outside a club. I managed to isolate after befriending her group, who liked me and thought I was cool. And since the venue was small, her friends allowed her (and my girl allowed herself) to go outside with me.

The compliance gained from the sex talk allowed me to isolate further and sit down – our chat continued. She was hooked. Her friends decided to leave, but one remained and suggested we head to a different venue. In this other venue, it was loud, so I had to stick to non-verbals:

• Prolonged eye contact

• Touching

• Sexual tension – poker face, baby

• Creating “it’s on moments” by grabbing her hand

She did give me some tests in the form of “you are trying to fuck with my head and make me horny,” to which I responded that my only desire was to induce good feelings. Seemed to have worked out pretty well – and finally we kissed.

Shortly after we kissed, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, a creepy guy was talking to her; she was uncomfortable. I let him talk a bit before I used the situation to pull.

Back at my place, things went pretty straight forward – sex happened. It was great... no, amazing. And god, she was hot.

The tone between us was good, and when I asked if she wanted to share contact info, she answered with a big YES.

Goodie.

Going to a Club

The following Saturday, I went out again, alone, just doing my stuff. I had pulled the night before, so I was pretty tired. And when I pull, I barely get any sleep (that previous night actually deserves a report – maybe I should write it...). My motivation was low, but that doesn’t stop me from going out, because you never know what can happen; sometimes the universe gives you some amazing nights. Ask yourself the following: what better activity is there to do on a Saturday night, anyway? Sit and watch CSI Miami, eat crisps, and get fat?

Anyway, I went to the same venue where I met Linda the previous Saturday – and there she was again. Now, I should mention that she asked me earlier if I was heading out that night (translation: I want to hook up with you), but I did not respond. I usually do not like to meet booty calls – or any girls, dates included – in clubs. There are a few reasons for that:

• Other men will hit on her – in most cases, this is not a big issue, but it is tiresome

• Many wildcards – like her friend starts crying or something (more hoops to go through to get laid)

• You cannot meet new women that easily – you have every other night of the week to go on dates or meet booty calls; Saturday is hunting day

• If her friends are around, you are prone to being judged by all of them, making life harder for you

• She can use the venue to throw hardcore tests at you

But there she was. I could venue change to avoid her, but considering that my drive was low and I was tired, I decided to stick with it. First mistake.

She Wants Me

Apparently, Linda perceives me as some kind of “sex god.” Well, no doubt about it, because my game is all about framing myself as one. Since age 17, I have been experimenting with sex – some awesome stuff and some not-so-awesome stuff. I happen to like the kinks most girls like: dominant sex, more or less BDSM related stuff, even though I am not too much of a sadist. That said, spanking and the occasional light whipping can be nice. I see BDSM as more of a psychological thing. I can write more about that later. Either way, the point here is that she finds it hot.

An issue I occasionally face is that women get intimidated by me – or rather, my sexual experience. They simply get a form of inferiority complex, thinking they are “not wild/good enough for Alek.” Even though this has some positive implications, I got to experience one of the negative ones that night.

My girl was really happy to see me. She is a hot girl and probably not inexperienced with flirting with guys and being… the prize. She did act a bit aloof, but after she saw me talking to another girl, she quickly turned.

Linda put up a huge hoop (or you may call it a test). A dude she knew was coming over – a guy she had sex with years ago but now hates for “being a dumbass” – yeah, right. Either way, her intentions became obvious: make me jealous, prize herself, and make me fight for her.

The guy came over. I remained cool and not overly affected. Turns out the guy was actually a cool dude and did not give a shit about Linda. We ended up becoming buddies actually. She obviously failed her mission.

“Can you believe these hos, bro?” “No I can’t, bro. No I can’t.”

What happens with certain girls, especially those who are so desperate for attention, so desperate for validation, truly wanting to be the prize, is they will up their game. They will go further, and if you manage to pass her tests, she may go to extremes to try to break you down. Those girls are, in my opinion, rarely worth it in the long run. They may serve as good booty calls or one night stands, but beyond that point, they will do you more harm than good. Gladly, most women are not like that, although all women are testy; some are just more extreme than others.

Trouble in the Air

Either way, I can accept one silly test of that kind, but not another one – at least not of this type. We ended up drinking, dancing, and having a good time. It felt like I passed the “test of the night” and now I finally get to enjoy the goodies. Boy I was wrong.

We did have a good time for a while – dancing, laughing, making out. All going perfect. I was about to finish my drink and pull her back home. Chill and easy night.

She wanted to order another drink before leaving – she was paying. All cool for me. I sat on the couch, waiting for her. Why did I not go with her? Well, if I cannot let my girl walk alone for 3 minutes, then something is truly wrong, in my book – both with you and her. The bar was like, what, 4 meters away? The club was dying and about to close; I can let her order.

A dude approached her. Perhaps it was a mistake to let her go alone? After all, she is truly into me, isn’t she? Like, we were about to leave, I passed her test, everything was good. Girls at this point have made up their minds – they know who they’re going home with, especially if you have been with her before.

The guy was chatting with her. Generally speaking, unless the guy has a super-seductive vibe or is very good looking, I prefer to just wait it out. They usually burn themselves, especially when my level of compliance is high. The guy was neither charming nor good looking, so I was like, “I will give her a minute.”

Suddenly, out of the blue, they were making out. YES, they were making out.

Boy, believe me, even though you have been in this seduction game for 10 years, situations like this still suck donkey balls. You get that noxious feeling in your chest. I was a bit creeped out.

Now, before I move on, let me discuss quickly how most guys react:

• Get nervous

• Walk up to the girl and ask her “WTF are you doing?”

• Desperately try to remove her from the guy, either verbally or physically

• Start crying or responding in an overly emotional way

• Induce guilt in her

All of these are very needy, emotional, and non-sexy behaviors. They will do nothing good at all for you or your interaction with your girl. You will come across as a crybaby, and the odds that she leaves with the guy become incredibly high. You will also have wasted a lot of mental energy. It’s a full-blown lose-lose situation.

Dealing with Your Girl Kissing Other Dudes

Let us break down the 3 potential reasons for why she is doing this:

1. She’s drunk and doesn’t really know what she is doing. This may be true, but who cares? Do you really want to keep such a girl? Maybe. But would you consider her a potential girlfriend? Hell no.

2. She prefers the new guy. Well, it sucks. Sometimes life sucks. It has happened to me, too, and it isn’t funny – but that’s life. Don’t take it too personally. At least in this case, you have no other choice but to move on.

3. She is testing you, trying to win you over with shady strategies. This one is actually more common than one might anticipate. It is cute, in a way, yet a bit scary. You can keep such a girl as a booty call, yes, but I really do not recommend even considering making her your girlfriend (usually an all-inclusive NO is the better call).

Now, keep all this in mind and reread them if you have to. And also consider the implications:

1. She is drunk. Do you really want to bone down on a drunk girl and deal with all the crap that follows? Probably not.

2. She prefers the other guy. Do you really want to be a cuck who keeps chasing? She may ruin your ego, but don’t let her ruin your integrity.

3. She’s testing you, playing mind games to get your attention. Does she really deserve your attention? Are you really going to play her silly game? Do you give her what she wants in such circumstances? Hell no.

So the solution is obvious: do not react. Just walk away. Yes, she may hook up with the dude, but by chiming in, the odds of her doing that may grow higher, especially if she is making out with him. Yes, there are cases in which you can go in and try to “battle him out,” but it becomes silly after she has made an overt move such as kissing in front of you. You will just come across as a cuck. Is that a good frame to start things with a new girl? Not really.

Consider also the initial relationship you have with her. She hooked up with you before (which doesn’t mean jack shit, but...) and has more or less decided to hook up with you again (now it means something, kind of). The scenario is drastically different than if she was a random girl and a guy just started chatting with her in front of you. I’d say her behavior is rather unattractive and slightly more disrespectful in this case.

Either way, I went back to her, removed my necklace from her neck (which she originally borrowed), and gave her a goodbye hug with a “Was nice seeing you tonight.”

Burn level: 9000.

Mind you that I remained cool and non-reactive.

This will make her wonder all night:

“Is he mad?”

“Why isn’t he reacting?”,/

“Is he not attracted to me?”

This may be beneficial if you want to see her again. Honestly, at that point, I was not sure (and I am still not) whether I should see her again. That said, I always find it luxurious to be in a position of choosing.

Next Venue

Well, this girl would soon discover that she picked the wrong guy to play those cucking games with. A veteran pick-up artist on high momentum? Damn, girl.

So after I retrieved my necklace, I went to the noisy venue (same one from the previous weekend), which happened to be nearby. This is one of those after-hours places, and it was not yet too late to find a new girl, although my time was short. I met a gay friend of mine who was there with two girls. I bought him a beer and he introduced me to his girls. The vibe was good, and I did flirt a bit from distance with one of them. One of the girls wanted to go outside to breathe some fresh air (since people were smoking inside). I asked if I could join them. Outside is better for me in terms of seduction, as I can deliver some verbals.

Outside, I was talking to them both, hooking them in. Things were going very well using my contrasting technique (also shared in my podcast with Varoon). They were giggling, touching their hair, pupils dilated.

Now guess who showed up!!!

The girl who tried to cuck me! She was standing next to us, trying to get our attention. I ignored her because I had honestly moved on mentally. She tried to enter the group by introducing herself, but I kept talking. The girls asked me if I knew her, and I said she was a friend.

After some more talking (and me ignoring Linda), Linda left with a sad face. She had lost – she knew she messed up. I kept on chatting, and the girls asked me again who she was. I told them she was a girl I did not really want to talk to, and I left it at that.

One of the girls received a phone call from her boyfriend, so she decided to leave; she asked me politely if I could take care of her friend. No problem, m’lady.

Turns out the remaining girl was an undergrad in philosophy – and you guys know what I think of art students… I eat them for breakfast. They happen to study countless topics that can be easily transitioned into sex talk. So I decided to discuss Michel Foucault’s philosophy, focusing on sexual liberation… there we go… she was hooked.

I grabbed her hand and made out with her, just quickly, just enough to spike up her mood. After that, I went for the kill:

“I live nearby (true), let’s go back to my place and discuss more philosophy. I hate this noisy-as-fuck, smoky club.”

She was keen, and we left. I checked my phone. Guess who sent a message.

Linda: I hope you found some girls.

Alek: In a different world, we would have been lovers.

Linda: But we don’t live in a different world.

Alek: No we don’t.

Linda: have fun

I went home and offered my new girl a drink. To be honest, she was actually average looking – but hey, that’s better than nothing at 5 am. Totally doable, and not fat. We escalated and had decent sex.

Aftermath

The next day, the new girl left, and Linda sent me new messages telling me she was stupid and drunk, not knowing what she was doing. I told her I did not care. I mentioned that I was not angry at her – I just found her behavior unattractive. I told her that I was willing to play, but if she is not, I will play elsewhere.

She apologized and all that, but I told her there was nothing to apologize for – she did nothing wrong per se. I just happened to find her behavior unattractive – she has no obligation to me.

This is key because I do not want to give her the pleasure of me being affected by her. She is obviously trying to force me (in her hardcore, unethical way) to commit to something. By being mad, I am falling into her frame – no way.

After some back-and-forth, she admitted doing what she did because she felt intimidated by me. She did not feel good enough. She felt insecure around me and wanted to gain some leverage. She admitted defeat. I told her that I found her attractive from the get-go but her behavior just had a negative effect. She wants to meet up and have sex, but I have left things ambiguous.

In a way, I feel sorry for her.

Epilogue

Although this post covers a specific situation, I am sure that many of you will unfortunately experience similar situations. I think that the situations may differ, but the solution remains the same: walk away.

This chick got dumped the day of her wedding after her fiancé saw the video of her making out with this dude at her bachelorette party the night before.

Yes, you can fight it by chiming in, pushing the guy away (destroying him verbally), or pull your girl away, but if a girl is doing something as disrespectful as Linda in my scenario, I would really recommend you guys to consider just walking away. In most cases, that is the best choice.

Sure, if you are chatting up a girl you have barely met and a guy comes over, go ahead and win the frame war. But if you are out with a girl you are already banging, who more-or-less agreed to leave with you, and she decides to make out with another dude in front of you, then do yourself the favor of just walking away.

And as mentioned, walking away is not easy, especially if the girl is hot, and especially if you like the girl (I wasn’t infatuated with this girl, and this doesn’t happen that often). But this comes back to another lesson: one should become good with women, no matter if it’s because you want a girlfriend, one-night stands, or booty calls.

Being good with women and having that skillset will make it so much easier, both practically AND emotionally, to walk away from girls whenever they behave inappropriately. How can you be the attractive guy with standards if you are not… attractive… yet? Being good with women will:

• Allow you to just go and meet new women right away with high probabilities of success (like in my case that night)

• The knowledge that you are good with women will help you tremendously – you KNOW that you can meet new and better women

• The field experience will teach you how to handle such situations, not only on a practical “what-to-do” level but also emotionally – an emotionally difficult situation is easier to handle when you’ve seen and done it all before

Another lesson from this post is that you should save yourself the trouble of meeting girls (who you already know) in clubs. Take them out to a calm bar, an ice cream spot, a coffee shop; heck, even dinners are better than meeting up in a club. Don’t do it unless you have to or you accidently end up in such a situation. Meet your girl one on one; it is always a better call – always – without exception.

Either way, guys, would you say this girl deserves a second chance to hook up with me again? I will let you be the jury. I am curious about what you have to say about this. And no, she will never go beyond being a girl I may occasionally “bone and kick out.”

If you guys have any other comments or questions, just shoot.

Until next...

Alek