Weekly current affairs reader Time magazine has published the results of its investigation of the phenomenon of girls kissing girls. It’s a startling new trend that may or may not just be lesbianism, depending on which argument each paragraph is straining to make. “Girl-girl kissing is not new, anymore than boy-girl or boy-boy—or any of the other mix-and-match combinations of genders and numbers in which sexually charged human beings can find themselves,” Time reports. “What is new is the openness with which girls are sampling from among their own, and the way the phenomenon has rapidly gone from startling to titillating to, if not quite commonplace, at least not all that uncommon either.” The article has already been described by Newsweek’s Tumblr as “a real story [emphasis theirs], from the real Time magazine.” “Can we say, holy shit?” Newsweek writes. In the interest of solidifying this human sexuality study in the annals of Internet in-jokes, we’ve selected the five most hilarious sentences from “Girls Kissing Girls: Explaining the Trend,” which is, to remind you again, a real story from the real Time magazine.5. “Sociology professor Verta Taylor, of the University of California, Santa Barbara, and her colleague, Leila J. Rupp of the school’s feminist studies department, examined the trend in an article for the American Anthropological Association magazine Contexts.” [“Contexts”!—Ed.]
“’It’s usually brought on by, I don’t know, like shots or drinking or people kind of saying something to like cheer it on or whatever,’ said one female student the professors interviewed.”
“’Bi-curious’ girls—or, as they’re increasingly called when drinking is involved, ‘bar curious’—are hardly unique in wondering what it would be like to have a same-sex experience.”
“The ‘it’ is the kiss, of course, and even before Katy Perry celebrated the all-girl lip-lock in song, it was clear that the party was definitely on.“
“(More on Time.com: See a photogallery of the visual history of the gay rights movement.)”
